Silent Musings

Dear David,

I’m sitting here on an ordinary Sunday evening, having “arrived at a certain realization”. I put that in quotes, because, in truth, it is really almost the opposite of what is so. There is no arriving, nor is there realization. There just is what Is.

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot how ordinary my existence is. So utterly ordinary … so lacking in the qualities of being special or important. Every day it seems I know less and less. Or rather, knowledge just seems like a cheap suit - tacky and loud. The same with seeking. The more I look at it, the more I realize that there is nothing to find, and there is no such “thing” as enlightenment. In fact, the term enlightenment almost seems offensive, an affront to the Truth. I want to cry. I don’t know why. I am alone, but that is not it. Being alone is contentment for me now. No, I just want to cry, no reason.

I don’t know why I am writing this. Maybe so “Mike” can believe this is Me. What does that mean? I have no idea.

I am adrift … Free? Even that seems inappropriate … free from What?! There is no such thing as freedom. I would tell you that I feel joyful, but I don’t even know anymore what are joy and happiness. Seems I’ve always (or at least usually) held happiness as some sort of assessment. This is not that. This isn’t even this. This … what a strange word. Whatever this feeling, right here and now, I’ve never had before, nor will I ever have again.

I used to think a lot about what enlightenment would be like for me. Now I can see that I was a fool. Who cares? The strategizer is still here within me; I can see him, but he seems so strange now. He is losing his grip.

I remember something from my childhood. My father used to ask my younger brother, “how much do you love me?” His answer: “1320″. How beautiful.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. I love you, 1320, and then some.

Mike

Response:
Mike, From my heart to yours. Love, David

Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
when practicing deeply the Prajna Paramita
perceives that all five skandhas are empty
and is saved from all suffering and distress.

Shariputra,
form does not differ from emptiness,
emptiness does not differ from form.
That which is form is emptiness,
that which is emptiness form.

The same is true of feelings,
perceptions, impulses, consciousness.

Shariputra,
all dharmas are marked with emptiness;
they do not appear or disappear,
are not tainted or pure,
do not increase or decrease.

Therefore, in emptiness no form, no feelings,
perceptions, impulses, consciousness.

No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind;
no color, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch,
no object of mind;
no realm of eyes
and so forth until no realm of mind consciousness.

No ignorance and also no extinction of it,
and so forth until no old age and death
and also no extinction of them.

No suffering, no origination,
no stopping, no path, no cognition,
also no attainment with nothing to attain.

The Bodhisattva depends on Prajna Paramita
and the mind is no hindrance;
without any hindrance no fears exist.
Far apart from every perverted view one dwells in Nirvana.

In the three worlds
all Buddhas depend on Prajna Paramita
and attain Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi.

Therefore know that Prajna Paramita
is the great transcendent mantra,
is the great bright mantra,
is the utmost mantra,
is the supreme mantra
which is able to relieve all suffering
and is true, not false.
So proclaim the Prajna Paramita mantra,
proclaim the mantra which says:

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha.
Gone Beyond. Gone Beyond the Beyond. Hail!