One thing that becomes unarguably evident after sufficient meditation practice is the impermanent nature of life. Where do thoughts come from? Nowhere. And to where do they return? Nowhere. How long does it take? Not very. Yes, thoughts come and go, as does everything else. Since I moved to a new apartment this weekend, I began to reflect about the transient nature of life, and the inevitable poignant feelings that always seem to accompany change.
I’ve moved many times, and often it was to a new city. In the process, I’ve left behind a large number of friendships. Now that isn’t to say I don’t still consider those people to be friends, but being realistic, it is not easy to a large number of friendships with people spread all over the place, even with the internet (and especially not for a forgetful, thoughtless wanderer like myself). So I find myself having to deal with those feelings that come with the parting.
What are those feelings? They are difficult to describe, because there is such a mixture to them. To try and use adjectives in this circumstance just doesn’t seem right - too conceptual. I can only think of an example.
Not too long ago I went through the process of a divorce. My ex and I separated in the summer of 2005, after 15 years of marriage. While we are still on “good terms”, we never had children, so the need to communicate and see each other is minimal. It’s a strange feeling to know that she is still out there living her life, and I have very little idea how it is unfolding. It’s almost as if I want to avoid thinking about it, kind of like the way I avoid thinking about my own death. Sure the thought of it comes and goes, but to actually dwell on it is not so easy. The feeling of loss is thoughtless on its own. The Absolute. Shiva. Pure Emptiness.
Then there is the inevitable new opening for creation that emerges from the Void. There is excitement that accompanies creation. The Heart Awakening. Shakti. Love.
What is this most curious and mysterious dance between the lovers Shiva and Shakti? Is the merging of non-duality and duality the source of those poignant feelings? I don’t know. All I can do is let it be what it is and keep living and dying every moment, and being Love of all that Is. What else is there?
Post a Comment