Silent Musings

My friend Les Traband died this morning. He had been battling multiple myeloma for several months up until today. However, to say it was a battle is probably a misnomer. Les always lived life on his own terms. He refused to let cancer compromise the way he lived and who he was, although I am certain there were many hours of difficult pain to confront. He accepted his circumstances, and still somehow managed to be the great person he was always known to be to his friends and family.

Although I am sad to hear of his passing, I have no doubt that Les’ spirit lives on in many of us that he left behind. Mostly I feel great sadness for Lee, his wife, for her loss is one that can never be replaced. Although we all must learn to accept the transient nature of life, the deeply spiritual beings like Lee are nevertheless devastated by such passings. Even so, like Les, I’m certain she will find a way to turn her circumstances into a triumph.

For a long time I have viewed Les and Lee as a model for how a marriage could be. Together they accomplished much more than I could ever express in such few words, but most of all their love and support for one another was unwavering throughout all of life’s challenges. You just don’t see that kind of marriage very often.

I didn’t spend as much time with Les as many of his other friends, but that didn’t diminish his contribution to me. More than anyone else I know, Les and Lee taught me how to relate to money in a way that is consistent with being a great spirit. And somehow, they did this not by lecturing, but just by being examples to follow. I still remember the many times Les and I participated in fund raising together, when he would explain why he and Lee donated most of their lives’ savings to the Hunger Project. He always said he didn’t need the money himself because he would be working anyway until he died, and like the many other ways life went according to his terms, he was right about this one as well. But what really stood out was his complete lack of fear when he shared this. He understood deeply his value to the world, and his confidence in himself and his partnership with Lee radiated into the souls that surrounded him. Today I still carry that same confidence with me in my Heart, a gift from a dear and unique friend. And I also know that I am only one of many who received this priceless gift.

Les, wherever you are, I love you and I’ll miss you. And yet, you will always be with me as well. Thank you for your life and your love. And Lee, please know that my Heart aches for you, and I miss you just as well.

A candle is made to become entirely flame.
In that annihilating moment
it has no shadow.

It is nothing but a tongue of light
describing a refuge.

Look at this
just-finishing candle stub
as someone who is finally safe
from virtue and vice,

the pride and the shame
we claim from those.

-Rumi